Closing doors and breaking down windows

 

 

cropped-icone.jpg

After 3 months, several health troubles and experiencing a break up, my mind has been locked elsewhere in a vast and empty space and I have been trying to slowly crawl my way back to this world…After wanting to delete the blog and run away from everyone and anything,  I’ve realised instead that it’s probably about time I used this opportunity to share some real stories not just the pretty photos that mask a sad reality. Understanding these issues may bring some awareness to what I’m experiencing but also show the world how life hits you down but you have to keep fighting even if you aren’t sure yet what purpose you are fighting for or what the future will hold.

 

My real name is Denisha, I am a young girl with diagnosed  with chronic end stage renal  (kidney) failure and currently on the Organ Donation list. The real known cause well that is unknown, every week for 4 hours a time, 3 times a week I complete haemodialysis, where my blood is cleaned by a machine. So I basically depend on a very large and complicated computer to pump and clean my blood and trust me without it… I wouldn’t be.

At first, and for a very long time I wished it away, and wanted people to never know what was really going on purely because I felt people would treat me differently. The difference however now is that I have realized hiding from it has been the worst possible decision I could have ever made because each time a new area of my life gets affected because of my sickness, its as if I am 14 again being told my kidneys do not work and I have to go through the pain again. In order for people to be aware and to donate blood or organs, not just for myself but for anyone in my situation, they need to be told what it’s really like.

Half of the problem is the common lack of understanding and awareness. So yes, telling people is a method to gain attention but not to find pity or shame but rather to raise awareness and get a discourse going. It’s also a way to share how to get back up when life seems to keep knocking you down and do it with a smile.

Maybe it can be an inspiration to others, maybe it will be just what others need to hear in their weakest time. I am not sure yet of the finer details of where I will go in sharing , but I am sure that I won’t keep it all hidden. Most people I know don’t even know whats really going on with me, so this can be a window to my other life.

So I’ve decided to take a different turn and will explain my story in pieces all whilst keeping up to date with my next quest for adventure.

All my love,

Denisha (Denny)